I don't know I'm in a foul mood. I have been in this mood since last night, I am just pissy. I don't know what the hell is wrong. The lines of communication in my relationship I don't believe are totally 100% going back and forth.
I am starting to think that maybe I fell to deeply to quick and it's all starting to surface that maybe my heart moved to fast. It hurts I am so freaking in love with this man, and as much as I know that he likes me a lot and is happy with me, I don't think that he is at that level. It really hurts me too because I have 100 percent fallen for him. I mean I know we are going away and we are going to be alone and a lot might come out then you, but I still don't think he's at my level. I just hope this doesn't lead down a one way street to nowhere, I will be totally pissed. I've put a lot into this relationship and had a lot of temptation and didn't do anything because in my heart it was "Take a chance Jessica." And that's exactly what I've done. I've told him time and time again that I'm not used to having an open breathing relationship where I have space to myself, and he used to say don't worry I'm not going anywhere.
But god damn it I'm scared. And I'm probably over analyzing again, but this is what happens when you take yourself off your meds because you can't afford them. All I have been is f***ing depressed the last couple of days. I basically bit his head off yesterday, but it wasn't about him. Maybe I should have just told him that I was upset at him. I don't want him to think that I'm only thinking about myself, see that's how much of a bleeding freaking heart I am. I'm afraid to open up in fear of others feelings. UGH! I'm never going to learn!!
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