Wow

So it's been a long time since I've been on here telling everybody how I am. Well everybody, silence please lol, I am actually doing great!! The medicine is really helping me and I feel 80% better than I did. I did start talking to someone openly about everything and that seems to really be helping me a lot.

Besides that everything is going great with John and me. I have been able to spend more time with his children and that in itself has been great therapy. John is such a wonderful man and has stood by my side through all of this and that is a real first. He really put up with the mood swings and the crying and the depression really well. He just held my hand the whole way and said it's going to be alright baby. I am so happy that he is such a big part of my life, I really don't know where I would be without him. Loving him and him loving me comes so easily for us, I am really blessed that he was brought into my life, I don't know what I would do without him. My parents love him, which in itself it's something wonderful, and my Grandma and Sophia love him to pieces. He has really turned my life around, I didn't think in the 26 years I have been on this earth that I would find a man as great as John. He treats me like a princess, I always feel so surrounded by love when I am with him it's like we were meant to be together. And I know in my heart that we belong together, he really is the person (besides Sophia) that makes me smile everyday. I just had to learn how to act with someone that is willing to help you out and take care of you, I was never used to that because I was always used in my relationships and they were emotionally abusive towards me. I never thought that I had a self worth with them, one of them actually told me that I was trailer trash. That is why I am so happy with my life right now. I have the most wonderful child anybody could ever ask for (she's the apple of my eye) and wonderful family who supports me through everything, my mother really has been a driving force in my life. No matter what has happened in the past or what mistakes I might have made I know that she loves me unconditionally and I can go to her and say, "Mom I'm being stupid help me." She has really taught me in John and my relationship how to take it slow, and just let time do what it is supposed to. And through my depression she has been there for me, I love my mom to death and she is truly my best friend, I mean who can you trust more than your Mom. I want to always have that relationship with her because if it wasn't for her I wouldn't be in this world right now lol.

But besides that we are getting ready for Melissa and Larry's wedding after 18 years, yeah that is right 18 years and they are finally tieing the knot. I am so happy for both of them and Melissa looks like she's glowing somewhat. It has been really fun helping her out with stuff for the wedding, I got to go to the cake tasting...yummy we were about to vomit after trying all of the cakes, but we had a lot of fun. and her bachelorette party that was fun too. So this Saturday is the big day for them and I am so excited. My mom and brother are coming up and I'm going to see family that I haven't seen in ages...well not that long, but still it seems like an eternity. John will be there with me so that I can show him off :) But that's about it....that is what is going on my life...